Personal: My current struggles with growth

I just wanted to be a little bit personal here for moment because I
feel like I give a lot of advice to inspire people to be positive and change
their lives the way I did… but to be honest I still don’t have it all together,
and change and growth never actually stops throughout our lives. I hope you
guys don’t mind, I mean it is called “leezarants” for a reason haha,
hope you guys can relate.

Don’t get me wrong I’m the happiest I’ve been in a while and live a
way more positive life. But the journey of growth, self-love, and change never
ends, it does get really hard… not going to lie. Even though I’m more confident
than I’ve ever been in myself, my life, and my direction, I still get held back
by fear.

As graduation approaches, I know the type of woman I want to be. I’m
fully aware of my potential and I have so many interests, but I just don’t know
where to start. Sometimes I don’t even know if this blog is worth continuing…
but it really makes me happy so I proceed.

I love writing, I love photography, I love film, and I love music. But
I also love my major (marketing) and want to be a businesswoman. What should I
invest my time in? Is there any point? Sometimes it’s hard to feel motivated to
go in the direction of your dreams. There’s so many other talented and smart
people out there just like me who want to make a difference, who want to be
heard, and who want to be creative. I’m not the only one with these dreams, and
only some of us will make it. I try to refrain from these negative thoughts but
sometimes my old low self-esteem gets in my head from time to time no matter
how much growth I have done.

I even can struggle with me as a person. I am a Scorpio. Which means
I am extremely blunt, honest, and sometimes have an overpowering personality. To
be honest I love this about myself but throughout college people have
brought it to my attention that it’s a “problem”.. but is it?

I understand people aren’t used to having someone who keeps it real
with them all the time, but that’s just how I am and that’s the way I grew up.
I believe in communication and honesty, I rather nip things right in the bud
than to let things linger. I struggle with this aspect of myself. I am who I
am, and I like who I am …but the same time I don’t want to push people away or
make them uncomfortable with my honest opinions.

So this is just stuff I’m going through right now. I hope you guys
can relate. Like I said before you never stop growing and you never stop
changing. It’s a hard road but the results are worth it. If you’re going
through anything like I am right now, please don’t stop or give up. I won’t. Continue
to live life and explore yourself the best you can, and don’t stop chasing your
dreams or doing what makes you happy.

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