My first crush…

My first crush was this past summer.

I know what you’re thinking.. what? How is that even possible? But this is what I consider to be my first REAL crush. 

Why? because for the first time ever it wasn’t about the physical, it was purely about the connection, chemistry, and personality. It made me feel like I never felt before. It was so much more satisfying. 

Before I begin the story, its important to note that no, this doesn’t have a happy ending, and no, we are not together now (which is a whole other much longer story). But its okay, because the experience taught me a lot. 

So I met, (lets call him Bob) Bob at work, and we became friends. We instantly clicked. Everything about his personality was awesome. We agreed on almost everything, he understood my humor, he was so fucking funny. I loved everything about him. The way he carried himself, the way he spoke, how chill he was, how motivated he was, how hardworking. The list went on and on. We would talk for hours and hours about interesting thought provoking subjects. He would text me about funny things, or say how something reminded him of me. He was just such a cool guy, and I just felt so comfortable around him, especially being myself which I’ve never felt with a guy before, not even my ex. 

So feelings started to develop on both sides. But heres the thing, Bob was cute to me but not really to other people. He was very much average and he was probably only an inch taller than me. I always thought I couldn’t date a short guy, but with him.. I literally couldn’t care less.

This is because for the first time in my life it wasn’t about the physical! I had a crush on him because of who he was, and how he made me feel. He was someone I felt like I could be HAPPY with, and now I realize thats what I should be looking for in a relationship. He is my first real crush because I felt butterflies when I was with him, not because he was hot but because he was cool as fuck. 

Every “crush” I had growing up was based on “omg he’s so hot I can’t wait to see him today” and there was literally no chemistry at all, but with Bob it was like “Omg I can’t wait to spend time with him today.” Its a huge difference, that is a lot more meaningful. 

Just because it didn’t become something more, I’m glad he showed me how I should feel about a guy, and now I know what I want and need out of a relationship. I totally understand why people in successful relationships said “We were friends first”. A successful relationship really can’t be based on physical attractiveness and lust, being in love is about who makes you feel better than you ever have, who makes you happy and who makes you feel safe. 

So I challenge everyone to take the time to truly get to know someone, and forget the physical, because then .. a real relationship can develop that will make you happier than you ever knew possible.  

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