Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m the least chill person ever. I’m a very emotional, sensitive, intuitive person. I take on other people’s problems as my own, and never seem to turn my brain off. I speak my mind, and always keep it honest and real (maybe a little bit too real). Though I love these qualities about myself, and they do always come from a good place, I lately have realized that they do hinder parts of my life.
People don’t always want to be told the harsh truth, or be around someone who is as intense as me. That being said I refuse to change who I am to make others more comfortable, BUT I do want to find my chill for my own well being. I don’t always have to be so in control or feel things so deeply. I realized that I didn’t trust the flow of life. Holding on so tightly to control, and attachments does nothing for me. I am learning to detach from things, emotions, people, and even experiences to let new and better things come into my life. I am learning to let life flow, and to think positively about it. I have no doubts that things will work out the way there are supposed to… and I need to trust in not only the universe but also myself.
I need to only focus on things that are good positive influences for me, and detach from things that take away from that. I’m no longer scared to loose control. I refuse to depend on anything outside of myself to create my own happiness and making my dreams come true.
Me not being a chill person came from the stress, fear, and anxiety caused by self doubt.
For a long time I have doubted my own abilities, and not seeing how great I truly am on my own. I sought validation from others in everything I did. I felt like I always needed someone by my side and was dependent on friendships (which backfired). I didn’t want to put myself out there because of the fear of failure. For a long time it seemed like I would rather not do something than to lose or fail.
Life is all about facing challenges and growing from them. With a positive mindset I am slowly learning to release all of the control, be clear about what I want, work towards it with confidence, and be chill enough to expect it to show up and become my reality. This post probably seems deep and far-fetched, but I just wanted to get my current thoughts out. This summer was a difficult transition, but also awesome because I have gotten to learn so much about myself. As summer comes to a close its time to take action, calm down, and believe in my power and my abilities. I want to manifest the best life possible and I encourage others to do the same! I’ve found my chill – not for others, but for myself.