Finding my Chill

namaste-jpgAnyone who knows me will tell you I’m the least chill person ever. I’m a very emotional, sensitive, intuitive person. I take on other people’s problems as my own, and never seem to turn my brain off. I speak my mind, and always keep it honest and real (maybe a little bit too real). Though I love these qualities about myself, and they do always come from a good place, I lately have realized that they do hinder parts of my life.

om-symbol-namastePeople don’t always want to be told the harsh truth, or be around someone who is as intense as me. That being said I refuse to change who I am to make others more comfortable, BUT I do want to find my chill for my own well being. I don’t always have to be so in control or feel things so deeply. I realized that I didn’t trust the flow of life. Holding on so tightly to control, and attachments does nothing for me. I am learning to detach from things, emotions, people, and even experiences to let new and better things come into my life. I am learning to let life flow, and to think positively about it. I have no doubts that things will work out the way there are supposed to… and I need to trust in not only the universe but also myself.

I need to only focus on things that are good positive influences for me, and detach from things that take away from that. I’m no longer scared to loose control. I refuse to depend on anything outside of myself to create my own happiness and making my dreams come true.

Me not being a chill person came from the stress, fear, and anxiety caused by self doubt.

For a long time I have doubted my own abilities, and not seeing how great I truly am on my own. I sought validation from others in everything I did. I felt like I always needed someone by my side and was dependent on friendships (which backfired). I didn’t want to put myself out there because of the fear of failure. For a long time it seemed like I would rather not do something than to lose or fail.

Life is all about facing challenges and growing from them. With a positive mindset I am slowly learning to release all of the control, be clear about what I want, work towards it with confidence, and be chill enough to expect it to show up and become my reality. This post probably seems deep and far-fetched, but I just wanted to get my current thoughts out. This summer was a difficult transition, but also awesome because I have gotten to learn so much about myself. As summer comes to a close its time to take action, calm down, and believe in my power and my abilities. I want to manifest the best life possible and I encourage others to do the same! I’ve found my chill – not for others, but for myself.

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