Day By Day

One night my mom asked me, “How is everything now that you’re working? Are you depressed?”  Not only was this a very odd and somewhat hilariously sad question for her to ask me – it did make me think, how am I doing?  I mean there’s obviously nothing to complain about I have a great job that’s a perfect fit for me.  I thoroughly enjoy being there everyday and I have a boss that really believes in me, and pushes me to my highest ability. I would be lying though to say that the transition hasn’t been extremely difficult. This whole summer I was literally lounging around doing things at my own time and pace going out any night of the week, traveling, and just having fun. It sucks that life can’t always be this way. It just seems as an adult you sort of live to work, so that you can support yourself.  That’s just the way it is. We go to work 5 days a week for 40 hours. That’s just how society made it to be.  It’s kind of a weird thing to accept because there’s nothing you can do about it. The kind of career I want and have is the traditional career of just climbing your way through the corporate ladder and dedicating your life to your job. It’s not horrible – it’s just hard to get used to. There’s no more vacations and no more going to school. This is it, this is life, I’m working till retirement. * sighs deeply *

I’m so grateful to have a job that I love because then I would really be miserable. I’m trying to make the best out of this transition and be grateful that I actually have a job. It just becomes a lot sometimes when 12 hours out of your day is dedicated to working. Then somehow you have to fit eating, sleeping, having some sort of social life, self-care and relaxation into the other 12 hours. It can be borderline impossible. I even feel my blog has gone by the wayside because I’m so tired everyday. I don’t have time or feel motivated enough to write or keep up with my blog and that’s heartbreaking. I don’t want working to ever take me away from what I’m truly passionate about.  I’m in this weird limbo of missing the freedom of being unemployed and being so grateful that I’m not unemployed.  It’s going to take time getting used to this new life. It’s just another transition into becoming an adult and accepting the way things have to be for now.  I’m learning to be patient and to accept things I cannot change, while still remaining grateful. So no Mom, I’m not depressed, but just taking it day by day.

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