When did dating become so complicated. I hate how things are now. Our generation has overly complicated the aspect of dating. All we do is play games. We’re pretty fucked up. It has become a bad thing to become attached, to be in love..we see it as “thirsty” and “weak”. We have to act like we don’t have feelings, we can’t express how we truly feel. We don’t want to commit to anyone, we don’t want anyone tying us down. We don’t want to feel like we are missing out on someone “better”. We are afraid to give our all, and actually have strong feelings for another person. Why is it like this? When did this become okay?
There are many different factors I believe contribute to this.
DISCLAIMER: Obviously this isn’t true for everyone, but just common social patterns I have personally noticed.
1. Technology- we have social media now, and we are in constant contact with anyone and everyone. This is good but only to a certain extent. We have unrealistic standards of what people should look like because of instagram and we aspire to look like (& date) these people who don’t even actually exist because they are caught at a good angle, in good lighting, with a million filters. Our standards are overly high and unrealistic, we don’t want to give the people we know a chance because we assume someone better will come along. We have also lost the chemistry aspect of dating. Most of us will meet someone online, or follow them on twitter or add them on Facebook before going out with someone. We will text them for months before hand. We judge their social media and use that as a way to contact another person rather than face to face interaction, which is the strongest. We are too busy texting or tweeting to look up and possibly meet the person of our dreams. Technology is a distraction for true human physical contact, that leads into last friendships and relationships.
2. Were selfish- Our generation doesn’t have as many struggles as past generations. For the most part we were all pretty guarded our whole lives, and didn’t have to work very hard for anything. We are taught that we can do whatever we want and that anything is possible. This leads into selfish tendencies. We don’t want to make sacrifices, especially for another person. Love is all about give and take. We want instant gratification, and we aren’t willing to work through relationships.
3. We think everything is disposable.- We don’t care enough to try and fix things with someone. We pride ourselves on “cutting people off”, if we are going through a hard time in our relationship we are quick to say “I’m done” “fuck them” “i guess I’m single”. We don’t have the patience to work things out or fix what we have. We always think we can do without another person, and we give up when things get tough.
4. no commitment – We don’t want the hassle of a relationship. We want instant gratification. We are a generation that has made sleeping around and having multiple partners normal (which is fine), and it has gotten to the point where we rather just have casual sex, than make a true connection with someone and have a relationship. We see relationships as something that ties us down forever, when it should really be seen as someone to grow with and learn with.. a partner and companion. For some reason there is now a negative connotation with being in a relationship.
This all leads into the reason why things are so hard. But hopefully we can change this. I don’t want to be apart of a heartless generation that doesn’t believe in true love. I still believe in true love and I hope to find it one day. What I stated above isn’t true for everyone of course, and I hope Im wrong about a lot of it, but this is just a pattern I’ve been noticing. I just hope we can learn to focus on whats important again, and make true connections.
Bring love back into our generation!