boys will always be there

I’ve been single for years now, YEARS. I’ve only ever been in one relationship. I was really young, and really stupid. I’ve grown up a lot since then. I’m a true romantic at heart and ever since then, from what I learned, I thought I was ready for a happy healthy relationship. Unfortunately I have yet to be in one. 

During this time I have worried insesently about it.

The 5 W’s

When will it be my turn?

Where is he?

What’s wrong with me?

Why can’t I find him?

Who should i try to date?

It has taken control over me and my thoughts, and most importantly my self esteem. I put way too much pressure on myself to be in a relationship that it often backfired with any nice guys I did try to talk to. I wanted it so bad that I made myself look desperate, and needy which is NOT attractive. I somehow thought that if I was in a relationship that my life would somehow be better. I worried what my friends thought about me. I must be weird that i haven’t been in a relationship for so long. 

As i go into my senior year of college I’m leaving all of those negative thoughts behind me. On my path of self love I have realized a lot of things. 

The most important thing I have learned is that the only person I need to make me happy.. is me. 

I need to love myself before anyone can love me. I’m no longer going to waste my time dealing with fuckboys! Im not going to let it make me sad if it never works out with any guy I talk to. Its NOT me, its them! There is absolutely nothing wrong with me. Ive been single for a long time, and its okay! I am sooooo young and I have my whole life to be in love. I’m putting 100% of my energy into myself. Loving myself and building my confidence, and growing in the woman I want to be is the ultimate goal here. Love and the man of my dreams will come, once I’m the woman who is ready for it, and completely sure of herself. Until then I’m going to live freely! I want to have fun and enjoy my senior year. I want to enjoy my youth, build lasting friendships and continue to grow. 

Its sooooo dumb to be trippin over boy who don’t give a fuck about you! SO i vow to do me, and not let being single bring me down. Im ready to fully embrace it, when its time love will find me… but i refuse to let it consume my thoughts any longer. Im going to live in the present and do everything I can for myself now, to build an amazing future. This should be every girls focus, because trust me… boys will always be there. 

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