A message to the 14 year old girl at Target
Recently I went to Target, and of course I ended up in the cosmetic section. Trying to find a good brown lip stick that I didn’t need, I over heard this 14 year old girl on the phone with her boyfriend. By the tone of her voice she seemed very upset and tearful, so of course I decided to eavesdrop. By the sound of it, apparently her boyfriend wanted to break up with her and of course she didn’t want this to happen. She was on the phone begging and begging. He had cheated on her and now wanted to break up. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she didn’t care. She wanted to stay together so badly even though he cheated and just didn’t want to be with her anymore. She pleaded and pleaded, and she started to cry. She was telling him they could work through this and that SHE would try to change. She noticed me while I pretend to look at NYX products, and walked away because clearly I wasn’t minding my business. Walking through another isle about 5 min later she came near me again. This time she was almost yelling. “I DONT GET WHAT I DID WRONG, EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT, TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG” after this she ended up on the floor with her hand on her head.
I freaked out in the moment. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I was in an episode of “What would you do”. I wanted to desperately to help her but I also didn’t want to seem like the noisy annoying girl getting involved. Thinking that she would most likely tell me to “fuck off” I grabbed my lipstick and headed to the register.
This has been bothering me ever since. I really fucked up. I should have intervened. Why? Because I want her to know what i WISH i knew at her age.
When I was right around her age I had my first and only (FML) boyfriend. I thought he was perfect and put him on a pedestal. I honestly felt that I needed him to be happy. I so naively thought we would be together forever, that he was my soulmate. I didn’t think i would ever find anyone like him again. He was it for me…in my 15 year old mind. When things got bad he got really nasty, and treated me the way I will never let another man treat me again. Clearly showing me he didn’t love me, I also didn’t care. I wanted to change for him, and make him “love” me again.
I was once young, just like the girl at target, crying over some 17 year old boy that didn’t want me, or care about me at all. But not knowing any better or having confidence in myself I let him treat me like shit, and was willing to do anything it took to make the relationship work.
I wish I told that girl, that in a year he won’t matter at all. I wish i told her she deserves someone that will treat her with respect. I wish I told her she will find someone better who actually cares about her. I wish i told her to never lower herself for a man. I wish i told her that she was so young and beautiful and had her WHOLE life to worry about fuck boys. I wish I told her to not let this breakup ruin her spirit or bring her down.
I related to the girl so much that it physically hurt me watching her cry in Target… but i did nothing. Im disgusted in myself. I wish someone would have told me what i know now and I wish i did the same for her. Watching the 14 year old target, was watching the old me. Im so glad I have grown since then and know what i want and deserve in my next relationship.
So to the 14 year old girl at Target, Im so sorry I wasn’t there for you, but i hope in time, even though it hurts now, you will grow from this and know what i know now.